Don’t hate us ’cause we’re beautiful

So the Princeton Review came out with their massive list of college rankings Tuesday and Alabama, well – we didn’t do so well. The board surveyed more than 122,000 students and took their answers to comprise the list.

The Princeton Review says the lists are made to help people find the perfect school for them, but really, it’s just a competition.

The Capstone only placed on three of the 62 rankings list: jock schools, students study the least and top entrepreneurial programs for undergrads. I’m going to tell you why they’re wrong.

We placed number 14 on the jock school list below Florida, who received first place, followed by Auburn and Kentucky. But we beat Georgia, so I guess that’s cool. Let’s just be honest, this list is completely dumb because we know we’re number one. Come on, we’re Alabama, roll tide.

The University received the bronze medal in schools where students study the least.

Most of SEC made this list expect for Vandy (nerds), South Carolina (who cares), Tennessee (they made the list of least beautiful campus), Auburn (are you kidding me?), Mississippi State and Arkansas (didn’t make any lists because they don’t matter).

I study, all of my friends study. Who on campus doesn’t at least study a little? How do you even judge this? Maybe students at UA are just so smart we don’t have to study. Ever thought about that Princeton Review?

Now for the top entrepreneurial programs for undergrads, we placed number 21, and I’ll just be honest I don’t really know what this means. Apparently people at UA can start businesses easier, or whatever. So that’s that.

Let’s take a closer look at our friends from around the SEC.

Florida won tons of things – first place for best career services, ninth for best college newspaper, sixth for lots of beer, eighteenth for lots of hard liquor, ninth for party schools.

These all kind of upset me, but one that irks me the most is they placed no. 2 for students pack the stadiums. Have they ever been to UA on gameday? It’s nuts and everybody knows that. And we didn’t even place. Who are these people?

Ole Miss ranked no. 10 on the happiest students list. You tell me what you can do in Oxford that you can’t in Tuscaloosa. It’s basically the same place with better sports teams.

Vanderbilt placed first on the list of major fraternity and sorority scene. I’ve been to Vandy a few times, and yes, they do have their share fratstars and sorositutes, but the University of Alabama, which has one of the largest sorority recruitments in the U.S., didn’t make the list. Now does that make sense? UA, time to turn up your frattiness even more.

Next year I expect the University of Alabama to up it’s game and make no. 1 on all of the good lists, we’ve got a reputation to uphold. And Princeton Review, take in to account that people might hate on UA in your surveys because they’re jealous.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DLEKCLAZXWKBGFIX2HVI4YKKO4 Rolltide

    I have been very concerned with the what “journalism” has been turning into in recent years, and this article just really confirms these fears. I don’t care if this is supposed to be some light and fun piece, it is just so poorly written and absolutely no research is done. “Now for the top entrepreneurial programs for undergrads, we placed number 21, and I’ll just be honest I don’t really know what this means. Apparently people at UA can start businesses easier, or whatever. So that’s that.” Like really, how hard is it to do a quick google search to figure that out? 

    And I couldn’t believer your comments about other schools (“ Vandy (nerds), South Carolina (who cares), Tennessee (they made the list of least beautiful campus), Auburn (are you kidding me?), Mississippi State and Arkansas (didn’t make any lists because they don’t matter).”) Really?!! You sound like you never matured past the 3rd grade. I’m not trying to be harsh, but this kind of ignorance is just not something you should be finding in a college paper. The Crimson White needs to get some new editors.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_P5ZSPYCTAKJX2WK4YA7U4VY5D4 Elise

    Oh boy!
    Someone needs to take this post down before the Princeton Review sees it.  They might put UA on some list of schools most likely to produce journalists with a future in burger flipping.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PCBSJMMS7UWDXPKVMY7NFAUKSU Tracey Gibson

    CW Editors:I realize this is an Op-Ed piece but I am legitimately appalled that you allowed this to go on the CW website. This article is poorly researched, poorly written and fraught with a heinous number of grammatical errors. Do you not edit op-ed pieces at all? You should.
    This article is an embarrassment to your newspaper and I do believe it would be within your best interests (and also the interests of Ms. Martin’s future career in the “real world”) to remove this article from your website.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nathan.ankersen Nathan Ankersen

    “cause we’re beautiful”

    Obviously you are not talking about the girl in this picture. BOOOOOM!
     

  • http://twitter.com/uabblazerfan11 Sarah Johnson

    That stupid Rebecca Black parody for the sororities stripped you of any recognition of being a big sorority/fraternity school. Choose an artist that can sing in tune next time.

  • Grant Kirkland

    This just in: According to the Princeton Review, the University of Alabama ranks #1 in the nation in “tree killing”.  Unfortunately, they were ranked last in the “ability to count” and “student journalism” category.

  • http://twitter.com/JustinRHoffman Justin Hoffman

    The Crimson White sounds like a snuff film…

  • http://www.facebook.com/joanml Joan Marie Purpura Lauer

    Such a poor writer!

  • http://www.facebook.com/joanml Joan Marie Purpura Lauer

    Who allowed this moron the column inches to have this printed?

  • http://www.facebook.com/BigBadBootyshaker Nolan Jawdropper Shaw

    Yea, that’s it. The world is just jealous of Big, Bad Bama. That’s all there is to it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Billy-Barnett/1506814459 Billy Barnett

    “Florida won tons of things – first place for best career services, ninth
    for best college newspaper, sixth for lots of beer, eighteenth for lots
    of hard liquor, ninth for party schools.”

    “Most of SEC made this list expect for Vandy (nerds), South Carolina (who
    cares), Tennessee (they made the list of least beautiful campus),
    Auburn (are you kidding me?), Mississippi State and Arkansas”

    These two  quotes explain something I have never been able to figure
    out. Placing 18th means you “won” and bama math works kinda weird.Now I
    know how they came up with 13 national championships.Thanks dear mystery
    solved.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677515642 James C. Burton

    Jesus Christ, woman. I’ve seen autistic monkeys at Jacksonville State write better opinion pieces than you.

  • Anonymous

    I think i just got dumber while reading this……thanks alabama

  • Anonymous

    I think i just got dumber while reading this……thanks alabama

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IWXB2KLCI7TR2R2XYJHD5GTPHE Joseph Mcdonald

    As an Alabama student I must say this is the one of the most awful things I have ever read. When I first started reading it (after an Auburn student sent it to me) I was very angered at whoever was trying to make Alabama look bad. Then I saw it was from the Crimson and White. I am appalled that this was somehow allowed to be published. This is not a direct reflection of Alabama students as a whole. As for everyone arguing about the Alabama and Auburn academic rivalry, let’s all face the facts. Neither of our schools are amazing academically, but a degree from either is school is respected and can result in a great career. If you meet Alabama or Auburn students, 99.9% of students from either school are nothing like the redneck hillbillies that wear the Wal-Mart bought national championship shirt every other day. Most all of these students are incredibly bright, even if some slip through the cracks and get to write for the newspaper. That is all and Roll Tide.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IWXB2KLCI7TR2R2XYJHD5GTPHE Joseph Mcdonald

    As an Alabama student I must say this is the one of the most awful things I have ever read. When I first started reading it (after an Auburn student sent it to me) I was very angered at whoever was trying to make Alabama look bad. Then I saw it was from the Crimson and White. I am appalled that this was somehow allowed to be published. This is not a direct reflection of Alabama students as a whole. As for everyone arguing about the Alabama and Auburn academic rivalry, let’s all face the facts. Neither of our schools are amazing academically, but a degree from either is school is respected and can result in a great career. If you meet Alabama or Auburn students, 99.9% of students from either school are nothing like the redneck hillbillies that wear the Wal-Mart bought national championship shirt every other day. Most all of these students are incredibly bright, even if some slip through the cracks and get to write for the newspaper. That is all and Roll Tide.

  • Jeb

    Dang people… you are up to 224 comments now! Do me a favor and look at the other topics on the CW opinions page for a minute; now look at me; now back to the opinions page; now back at me. No other article has gotten this kind of attention. There are no serious articles about such things as, oh I don’t know, the problems our political system faces, the need for entitlement reform, the war in Libya and the affects it will have on the world once Gaddafi is gone, the Republican primary, the riots in London and how it parallels a lot of the same problems we face, the crashing of the Russian space station supply vessel and how that impacts our plans for our own reliance on Russians for our space program. Take your pick. If you are going to bash her for making Bama look bad, how about putting your money where your mouth is and contributing to the CW?

    Nope, everybody would prefer to take this girl outside, string her up, and burn her at the stake for writing an article you don’t like. Granted, I thought it was dumb too but come on now. How does flogging her with 224 comments telling her how bad her writing is show that UA is a place of superior intellect? Instead, I’ve seen this girl attacked for her grammar (and ironically many of those posts suffer from the same problems), told that she should work on her “oral skills” rather than her writing skills to get by in life, and of course… a UA vs Auburn battle… because what says intellectual institution like a stereotypical football rivalry on the opinions page for a non-sports related article? Way to show her how she was wrong to make UA look like it isn’t a bastion of intellectual debate! Oh… and Roll Tide!

  • http://twitter.com/jdjones12 Jonathan Jones

    how did this get put in the cw….horrible.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1155503719 Ariel Makenzie Pilgrim

    To everyone that has some kind of come back about how this article makes Alabama look bad, I just want you to look at the work that comes out of your school. I dare anyone to lie and say that you wouldn’t be embarrassed by the work of a student or alumni, of your school, in the past. I’m not justifying this terrible article, but you all need to get over yourselves and stop judging.

  • Kyle Swenson

    I’m not sure what’s dumber…the categories that were used by The Princeton Review, or the airhead author’s comments about UAT failing to make this or that list.

    Why don’t you write about UAT’s US News ranking?  Maybe find something that matters?  Or does the greek system and the amount of beer really trump anything academic that you’re striving to achieve?  That’d explain the issue with not studying.

  • Sam Shelton

    This articles is a disgrace to the Crimson White and to the University of Alabama. As a student at UA, I am ashamed that this atrocious piece is an any way associated with the school I love. I am proud to support my university, but the entire tone of this was incredibly obnoxious, vain, and arrogant. If I were reading this from an outsider’s perspective, I would definitely think less of the University of Alabama after reading this article. Even if it had proper grammar and spelling, this article would still be atrocious. Please CW editors, never ever let anything like this be published again. Have respect for yourselves and the university you represent. 

  • christina.chwyl

    In the first sentence of your last paragraph, it’s spelled “its”!!! (And you’re a college student???)

  • christina.chwyl

    In the first sentence of your last paragraph, it’s spelled “its”!!! (And you’re a college student???)

  • http://twitter.com/bananasauruses Hannah

    This is the stupidest bullshit I’ve ever wasted my time reading. Point in case, score one for Princeton Review. 
    Also, this article is very shallow and biased. You’re just making UA look bad…

  • http://twitter.com/bananasauruses Hannah

    Besides, most of the arguments you presented aren’t even important! Why not address academics rather than Greek CRAP, football, and partying? College is for learning and getting a degree anyways. You’re quite obviously a sirostitute yourself. 

  • http://twitter.com/devibby Devin Nunez

    Does your publication have an editor?  I just lost I.Q. points.

  • Anonymous

    Dear Friends of Alabama and Auburn: I am a Presbyterian minister of many years, my undergraduate degree is from Auburn.  My wife has a degree from Alabama. My extended family has graduates from both schools.  My father was a 1938 graduate from Auburn who distinguished himself in his profession. I suppose that I am older than most of you who have written; I realize that many of you express the zeal of youth.  I am saddened to read most of the entries on this Internet site.  The rivalry is fun, but some things go beyond fun.  Some words are painful to read and damaging to each other.  This should not be.    Many of you, both Auburn and Alabama graduates, and fans, should be ashamed of yourselves.  We have two very fine schools, with wonderful traditions. Both benefit Alabama and the nation in a multitude of ways.  Some of you need to go home and count your blessings.  God has blessed us beyond our dreams. His blessings have come to both schools.  We have much to be thankful for.  Do you think God reads our words? I will tell you he does.  We can do better than the words on this site.  Wishing Auburn and Alabama the very best,  Dr. Wood, AU ’76

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Crissi-Key-Waters/501564050 Crissi Key Waters

    THe entrepreuership program is probably due to the fact that you have one of the TOP SIFE(Students In Free Enterprise) groups in the counrty!!! 

  • tdigital2979

    This survey is garbage, very unscientific, relies completely on student self reporting and no objective data, and doesn’t take into account about one million biases . . . hence the ratings are random and we should demand more from a place that touts the name “Princeton” . . . although we all know this in in New Jersey, where the citizens make New Yorkers look polite. 

  • CPDiaz

    I can’t be more embarrassed as a UA student that the CW believed this relevant enough to be published.

  • Me

    Perhaps, if “Ever thought about that Princeton Review?” were “Ever thought about that, Princeton Review?” and “Next year I expect the University of Alabama to up it’s game and make no. 1 on all of the good lists, we’ve got a reputation to uphold,” were “Next year, I expect the University of Alabama to up its game and make no. 1 on all of the good lists; we’ve got a reputation to uphold”, I might give this article more credence.