I am a very busy man, and my time at the Capstone has been characterized by that word – busy. It’s my nature; if I am not at an 8-out-of-10 stress level, I’m bored. Whether it’s research, recruiting students, mock trial and so on, you name it, I jumped in with both feet. That fact has led many people to come in and out of my life. 

There are people who I genuinely felt were my closest ride-or-dies that I haven’t spoken to in years. And yes, that is mostly my fault; I am notoriously horrific at communication and keeping up with people because I am so busy. I’m always trying to keep my head above water, so I legitimately don’t have the processing power to remember that I was supposed to schedule meeting someone for coffee just to catch up. So, for those of you over the years to whom I have scheduled time to meet with you and bailed, it is because I simply forgot, not because I hate you or stopped being interested in your life.

That being said, there is something powerful in friendships. I understand and am fully aware that I will not be able to maintain contact – beyond Facebook or the occasional message – with many of my associates from college, just on the basis of time. Schoolwork or even just a conventional job takes energy, as do families and spouses. Simply put, it is unlikely anyone has the energy to preserve close ties with 50 people for decades who aren’t blood relatives. 

And that’s okay. People will float in and out of our lives like leaves from the wind. That does not mean these people did not impact you in a significant way; I can guarantee you that some of the most impactful people from my time at the Capstone don’t remember my name. I remember theirs, and even if we do not stay in contact with one another, that does not diminish their value to me or the influence they had in shaping the person I am today. But for time’s sake, you cannot expend the energy to have 100 besties. 100 associates, sure – but not brothers from another mother or sisters from another mister.

But, there will be those select few that you intend to stay close with. These are the people who picked you up when you fell apart– those who you found out were your truest friends, the ones whom you literally wouldn’t have made it this far without. You find out who really and truly cares when it’s that 3 a.m. phone call and you just needed someone to talk to in that moment – the people who drop everything on a dime even for the slightest little thing. This is the inner circle of the inner circle. You cannot do that for everyone; there simply isn’t enough time in the day. 

My advice to those of you reading this column, if any do, is this: Don’t be a fair-weather friend to the few who were there for you when the chips were down. The man who was your true shoulder to cry on to get over that tough breakup, or the woman who told it to you straight when you needed it most, or the mentor who gave you a sense of direction when you had none. Those people are irreplaceable, so don’t ignore them. We all will have limited time post-graduation, or even during school moving forward as coursework increases in level of difficulty. 

Make time for those that made time for you. Write that handwritten note to show that you care. Ensure they know just how much they mean to you. Don’t let a day go by without saying thank you to those that made you who you are. I truly believe that no man is an island, and behind every success story is a support structure that gets none of the credit it deserves for the success it helped build. In the words of one of my favorite songs from the movie that made me laugh the most in recent memory, “The Lego Batman Movie,” “We’re not related but here’s good news / Friends are the family you can choose.” Friends don’t replace the bonds made with those you share blood, but your closest friends chose you as family for a reason. Choose them back. 

Sam Ostrow is a senior majoring in political science.