In the spirit of the seasonal holidays, maybe we need to have a conversation about empathy for fellow humans. As students pursuing higher education degrees, we will soon constitute the 30 percent of American adults holding such degrees. Because of our intelligence and our education we have earned and received, the way in which we act will have significant impact in lives beyond our own – it is both a privilege and a burden. We can choose to use our power to imagine better and help those who need us.
Or, we can choose not to empathize with those around us and live solipsistic and blissfully ignorant of the troubles of those around us and the world. A simple dichotomization, but the point is that by not exercising our human power of empathy we are numbing ourselves and reducing our own meaning of life.
Of course, social Darwinists would argue that some people in poverty suffer in part because of their irresponsible behaviors. Why should I, as someone who is responsible and earned what I have, give to someone who flunked school, abuses narcotics, or is a criminal? Let’s begin by noting that many of today’s poor are small children who have done nothing wrong. For example, did you know that 45 percent of food stamps recipients are children? So, let’s starve kids if they have criminal parents, deny a little girl’s education because the mom works two jobs and can’t afford pre-K, and not treat a kid’s health condition because his parents are unemployed.
We are so quick to see ourselves in a simple narrative of success – we study hard, obey the law and will get a decent job upon graduation – we completely forget that others are not born with the same opportunities as us. The strongest determinant of ending up poor is being poor. Truly, our life outcomes depend on the “ovarian lottery.” It is extremely callous to be born on third base and denounce the poor for failing to hit and get on base. Much of our success is determined not just by our level of virtues, but also by an inextricable blend of luck, biography and genetics. Privilege ultimately begets privilege.
Research also indicates that our brains react to images of the poor and homeless by seeing them as things and not people. Our natural reaction to poverty is one of revulsion, not sympathy, which depressingly reinforces our lack of empathy for those with less. Yet, do not think all is lost and there is nothing you can do. Meeting those with less, especially youth, will make you become less judgmental and more empathetic. Those who encounter the needy the most are more likely to donate to charity. The poorest 20 percent of Americans, who see the needy the most in their daily lives, donate more to charity, as a percentage of their incomes, than the richest 20 percent.
We are part of a generation that is the most educated generation and the most likely to live lives based on meaning. Generally, people with meaningful lives feel connected to others, work, a life purpose and the world itself. Developing these connections requires empathy and compassion beyond the normal amount. In these times of seasonal spirit let’s give to those with less and embrace the magical power that is empathy. After all, no one wants coal on Christmas.
