Don’t hate us ’cause we’re beautiful

Dont hate us cause were beautiful

Katherine Martin

So the Princeton Review came out with their massive list of college rankings Tuesday and Alabama, well – we didn’t do so well. The board surveyed more than 122,000 students and took their answers to comprise the list.

The Princeton Review says the lists are made to help people find the perfect school for them, but really, it’s just a competition.

The Capstone only placed on three of the 62 rankings list: jock schools, students study the least and top entrepreneurial programs for undergrads. I’m going to tell you why they’re wrong.

We placed number 14 on the jock school list below Florida, who received first place, followed by Auburn and Kentucky. But we beat Georgia, so I guess that’s cool. Let’s just be honest, this list is completely dumb because we know we’re number one. Come on, we’re Alabama, roll tide.

The University received the bronze medal in schools where students study the least.

Most of SEC made this list expect for Vandy (nerds), South Carolina (who cares), Tennessee (they made the list of least beautiful campus), Auburn (are you kidding me?), Mississippi State and Arkansas (didn’t make any lists because they don’t matter).

I study, all of my friends study. Who on campus doesn’t at least study a little? How do you even judge this? Maybe students at UA are just so smart we don’t have to study. Ever thought about that Princeton Review?

Now for the top entrepreneurial programs for undergrads, we placed number 21, and I’ll just be honest I don’t really know what this means. Apparently people at UA can start businesses easier, or whatever. So that’s that.

Let’s take a closer look at our friends from around the SEC.

Florida won tons of things – first place for best career services, ninth for best college newspaper, sixth for lots of beer, eighteenth for lots of hard liquor, ninth for party schools.

These all kind of upset me, but one that irks me the most is they placed no. 2 for students pack the stadiums. Have they ever been to UA on gameday? It’s nuts and everybody knows that. And we didn’t even place. Who are these people?

Ole Miss ranked no. 10 on the happiest students list. You tell me what you can do in Oxford that you can’t in Tuscaloosa. It’s basically the same place with better sports teams.

Vanderbilt placed first on the list of major fraternity and sorority scene. I’ve been to Vandy a few times, and yes, they do have their share fratstars and sorositutes, but the University of Alabama, which has one of the largest sorority recruitments in the U.S., didn’t make the list. Now does that make sense? UA, time to turn up your frattiness even more.

Next year I expect the University of Alabama to up it’s game and make no. 1 on all of the good lists, we’ve got a reputation to uphold. And Princeton Review, take in to account that people might hate on UA in your surveys because they’re jealous.